Ash Wednesday and Lenten plans

Today is Ash Wednesday which marks the beginning of my favourite time of the liturgical year.  In the past I have experienced this ability to achieve my Lenten goals which for some reason I am unable to stick to during the year.

So there are three pillars of lenten grace - prayer, fasting and alms giving. I like to use the Lenten period of fasting to fast from habits that I would like to get rid off permanently and take up a better or newer habit in its place. In the past, I have given up the habit of being unpunctual and instead worked on being more mindful of how I use my time. I gave up checking Facebook when at work and managed to complete writing a major portion of my thesis.

This year I am going to use this period of Lent to acquire a lifestyle change of going vegan - following this plant based lifestyle that incorporates more plants in the diet. I need to reduce my weight and different combinations of exercise and diet do not seem to do the trick and hence I feel like I need to stick to a more rigorous plan. I have been reading books by Dr. Furhman and Forks over Knives for a while now but thought it was insane to actually follow the guidelines suggested in the books. Growing up eating meat and fish and all the other sugar based treats and desserts it seems so difficult to follow something that cuts out added sugar and oil and meat completely. Not to mention does not allow processed foods, including flour and breads and milk.

I have rated the foods that I could live without but just can't find the courage to say "no" forever to some of the foods that I grew up eating - Goan pork sausages, rechad bangda (mackeral), prawn curry, desserts like bebinca and dosh and not to mention my cup of chai with milk and sugar boiled with tea leaves. Well one of the motivations for this lifestyle intervention is because my dad and his mother before that had diabetes. My last annual visit to the doctor showed heightened levels of blood glucose and the doctor suggested intervention in terms of insulin if I don't do something about this.

This was in June 2016. I have not been to the doctor since then and have not committed full time to changing my diet either! I would go on for a week and revert to eating meat and processed foods  over the weekend. I really need this period of grace to take control over my life. Not caring for the body given to me by God is also a sin - and I choose to feed my body healthy and non-fattening food.

I need to keep reminding myself that this is not a diet but a lifestyle change. There are people eating like this all year round. I what they plan to do for lent?

I know of people who do not buy food that is sold in plastic wrappings what cannot be recycled - this would mean that they forgo foods that are always sold in plastic.

Lifestyle changes can result in making choices that  are akin to practicing some form of ascetic or religious lifestyle.

So here I am on day one of my transformation journey - I have downloaded the diabetes reversal book by Dr. Furhman for 20 days which I plan to follow for the 40 days of Lent. Dear Lord, please help me experience your grace and presence during this time of my transformation.

Chinese leftovers that disappeared

Last Friday there was a year end party for one of the groups on campus and by paying $10 we could partake in a Chinese buffet. The food was delicious with Singaporean noodles, fried rice and fried chicken and tofu and string beans. Even after taking seconds there were plenty of left overs. One of my colleagues and me decided to take some leftovers and filled up two salad containers with food. I had filled up enough for several lunches and was happy that I would not need to have carry lunch from home. And yet I knew that this was something not conducive to my weight loss plans! As it usually happens I find ways to rationalize my decisions in such moments, in this case it was, this food is going waste - eating a little of it everyday would distribute the calories!

So on Monday I don't carry my usual backpack when I walk to work since there was no need to carry lunch. At lunch time I go to the fridge to heat some of that delicious food and to my utter dismay - the entire container was gone - poof!
I had not expected anyone to steal food from the fridge in the common room - help themselves to a little of the food maybe buy WHY take the entire container? I was disappointed by the whole experience and then it struck me the whole universe is conspiring in helping me attain my weight loss goals! It was a divine intervention of sorts.

This has happened many times to me when I show up for free food placed in the common area and it is all gone. This is usually calorie dense food not in line with my plans and goals for the day and I get there to get some by rationalizing my choice. This is really some divine force working for me.

But in the case of my lunch missing - it was highly disappointing at first but then I thought about it and hoped that the person who stole the food was actually in need of it. It was something I freely received and in some sense it is good that someone in dire need used it.

In the future - I need to be more mindful of how I rationalize and stick to my goals.

First of many posts - my journey begins!

For a long time (the earliest I can find is from 2009) now I have been writing post-its with my weight loss goals and putting them on my bathroom sink, near the kitchen sink, on the fridge, by my night stand with the goal of a having a constant reminder. The idea is that I would see it everytime and remind myself of my goal and work towards it.

I recently came accross one of these post-its from 2010 that had a weight loss goal of 140 pounds. Last year my weight loss goal was 160 pounds. Evidently I have grown heavier and the start of 2016 I promised myself that this was the year when I finally achieve my goals.

Things seem to have progressed well for a month and when I began to lose a few pounds, I would revert back to my former eating habits. I have gone through feelings of disgust, despair, fear, hate, jealousy, rage, self-defeat and a ton of similar set of negative feelings with varying degrees of intensity. Somehow, through my faith in God (mostly) I have managed to stay positive. But everytime I resume with a "fresh start" the finish line seems to have moved further away.

This year in 2016, I was warned by my GP that my blood sugar levels were boderline diabetic. Actually I was told about this in 2014 too but I did nothing about it. But in June this year, I was told that I would have to begin medical intervention if the levels are not in the normal range. I promised myself that I would work towards getting a healthy weight but did not stick with it and feel miserable about it now. My GP told me that we would re-test in three months and I have not visited her since then because my weight has not reduced as yet. Last week I had a frozen should, a second recurrence in the same month which I found odd. When I researched online, I found that being diabetic is one of the risk factors for frozen shoulders.

This morning I was drawn into reading about the link between cancer and obesity and it is not very good news. I am really motivated to lose these extra pounds. So the research paper in JCO, Management of Obesity, by Naji Alamuddin, Zayna Bakizada, and Thomas A. Wadden mentioned some pretty good ideas that I knew off that have proven to be effective in weight loss.

Diet, physical activity and behaviour therapy are the three-fold approach suggested by the authors. This approach produces a mean weight loss of 6-8% in 6-12months!

So based on this article I haev found a renewed sense of purpose to lose my excess weight.
My current statistics are as follows:
Height - 5'7"
Weight 180 pounds
Waist circumference (around the belly button) - 42.5"
Hips (just below the butt) - 43"
BMI - 28.2 overweight

The upper limit of the normal BMI is 24.9 and corresponds to a weight of 159 pounds.
My waist circumference should be less than 35 inches.

So working backwards, if I were 159lb, I would need 1600 calories per day.

By the end of this year 2016, I want to be at 175 pounds. Realistically speaking I should aim for one pound per week, but I want to do two per week at first. A deficit of 1000 calories per day. This seems a little too harsh! Anyways, I read somewhere on the flat belly diet book, that a 120 pound woman would need about 1200 calories and since I am aiming for 1500 calories, I should stick to 1500 calories or less per day. This is a doable goal, since I walk and do other physical activities atleast one every day I could create this calorie deficit.

So my plans are 1) Keep a food diary for every day - will use this blog to keep track of what I ate everyday
2) Exercise for atleast 60mins everyday - walking to work counts!
3)Stick to a 1500 calorie diet.

I am all pumped up to do this - am hoping that I will achieve my goals this year.